So, i dug up some posts from my old blogspot and will be posting them periodically. I found some Easter related posts that i’ll be posting over the next few days, but first, an old post about Ash Wednesday circa 2005. Another Repost:
You see, my roommate, nathan, likes claiming the title of “poster boy for the total depravity of man.” I like to think that we share this honor. We are, after all, undoubtedly cut from the corners of the same proverbial cloth. Between nate’s innate ability create awkward silence and my unparalleled prowess at finding that line separating tactful humor and looks of astonishment, we artfully, equally, seamlessly, simultaneously pass the nugget back and forth like electrons in a covalent bond. Some covalent bonds are polar in nature and, as is with nate and myself, entropy and depravity tend to be, from time to time, in higher concentration around one more so than the other. However, after today’s artful display of depravity, i confidently and firmly claim the title for my self. The day is mine Trebek!
I was at work, walking down the hall between our two buildings and notice one of my good friends (we’ll call her margeaux) showing a new-hire around the building. As i walked passed her i noticed something on her forehead; A large dark spot on her forehead. I thought she had unknowingly rubber a dirty hand on her forehead. With her fair skin and red hair the spot was very noticeable. Later on, I was walking back to my desk with another coworker, patricia and passed margeaux again in the hallway. I noticed the same spot on her head, she still hadn’t noticed, and she was still giving a tour. I decided i couldn’t allow margeaux to continue walking around the building with this embarrassing blemish for she is quite the beautiful young lady. So tactfully, i said,
“margeaux can i get you to come over here really quick, I need to ask you a question?”
Drawing her away from the new hires, i turned my back and put my arm around margeaux drawing her a bit closer and with genuine concern in my voice said,
“I’m not sure if you know this, I’m not sure how it got there, but you have a dark mark on your forehead.”
She paused for a long moment, and said,
“Hmm, well, I’m not sure if you know this but today is Ash Wednesday”
I took a second look, and sure enough, there was the faintest evidence of a malformed cross there in the ashes.
I took a moment to correctly file this moment in its rightful place amongst some of the stupider moments of my life and sheepishly said,
“OK, well, good talk. Carry on!”
Is there a special level of hell reserved for people who forget about Ash Wednesday? If there is I will, with the certainty of Heisenberg himself pay my penance with a solid ten minutes in my own purgatory. The real irony is apparent when i confess to you that my other roommate, Todd, is a catholic youth minister and you would think that, in and of itself, would leave me properly informed of the second busiest day for the Catholic Church. But no, it didn’t. Later on, i offered margeaux a proper apology and now i can look back and comfortably laugh at the situation.
So, for now, I am the official poster boy for the total depravity of man. The bigger question is whether or not i was predestined or whether i chose, of my own free will, to be a complete moron. Perhaps I should come up with some cool acronym or something but in the meantime, I walk chin up, shoulders back, chest out, confident to the beat of applause, a standing ovation if you will, from one, John Calvin.
I took some steps to preempt any sort of shenanigan next year and wrote “ASH WEDNESDAY” on my calendar next to the day already marked “FAT TUESDAY” in red ink sharpie marker.